I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo