Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
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He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
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I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.