Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.