Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I hate all girls vehemently.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he thought i was a dude.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday