Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.