I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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