Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
