dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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