Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My breasts were aching with rage.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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