how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
why is half of my head shaved?
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