I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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