What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
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we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
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It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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