You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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