the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
