I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
