so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize