We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
