So drunk its hurt
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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