On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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