Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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