You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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