Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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