The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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