porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
