This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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