i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
worst night to have a conscience
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
