Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
