she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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