Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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