No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
