So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
