I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
