Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
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You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore