And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..