i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.