i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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