Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
