a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Bring me that man meat
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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