is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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