i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
