why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
