would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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