Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
