I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
