theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
