When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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