i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize