He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
