when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Plan B is the new Plan A
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this will be a night to untag.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
