Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we're making bets on your personal life
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
