How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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