You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love black thongs
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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