I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
