its not stalking. its research.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
