no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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