Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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