Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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