I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
