I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
