Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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