You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize