So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
