How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
