put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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