actually, I'm a sock model
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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