I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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