Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
