I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
