Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
