dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
