fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize