We won't sleep together?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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