Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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