I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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