id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Who died my cat blue again?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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